I feel odd
my fingers shake
my heart quakes
i want to be warm but im cold
softness annoys me
fur delights me
fur is so tender
and sweet
i want to have a coat of fur
something that warms my soul
i want to run and be free
but i cant
im cold
her hair
her chin
my face
so cold
i want a blanket
that wraps my soul in her
i want her warmth
i want her soul
sometimes i wonder
where i can go
what i can do
how i can feel
i dont know
i just feel odd
——————
somewhere i go
to a place that no one knows
its cold and sad
and im all alone
i cry and weep
but it never stops
im still there
im still here
i dont care anymore
nothing hurts
nothing feels
my tender heart
feels crished
by tears
—————–
where does this sadness come from
i want an old man to tell me
i want the world to turn
i want peace on my brain
one tear, strokes my cheek
begetting more
and more
i dont know why i cry
i just know im alone
im here, im writing
im feeling
so deep
——————-
things i remember
before i forget
walking so fast
like a cheetah in the wind
water bottle, hat, an agitated mind
i remember
before i forget
i told you i love u
i grabbed ur hand
i wanted your heart
i seek
i romance
i need to remember
before i forget
drinks
we went for drinks
i remember our drinks
i cry
i never saw ur love
im lost
——————
where must i go
what must i do
how far must i go
to be with u
ur smell i touch
ur lips i taste
ur heart i melt
i dont know
their is fear
their is darkness
their is hope
their is…i dont know
the salt touches my lips
it enrages my soul
i dont want to feel this
i want to be free
i dont ever want to feel
but i do
i miss u
——————-
just a single tear
why do you haunt me
is it for love?
is it for want?
is it for hope and desire and sex and touch
please no more tears
i miss, i cry, i feel, and i dont want to
i just want u
i just need u
i must
i don
i cant
i wont
but i do
——————
where am i
im alone
im sad
im not fuzzy
im not simple
im not loved
but i am
i fear this love
it touches me
it scares me
but i just dont know
i make no sense
but sense it not to be made
of love and tears
i only want u
i only need u
——————–
a vision to quell these tears
ur blonde a rest on my leg
looking up at me
smiling
ur dancing, ur smiling, ur dress
ur voice
so much so little
i have none
alas tears leave me
haunt another man
take my sadness
take it to my soul
and ask
where is this heart
where must it go
why do i feel
so
sad
——————–
when i think
about how i acted
and how i felt
i seem so silly
i was crusading
i was against the world
i needed something
it was all about me
then there was you
i opened my eyes
and i saw
i wanted you
i knew you
you’re heart beats with mine
you’re mind thinks with mine
your body touches mine
im still so scared
im still so wrapped in myself
but i hope
i believe i can love u
i believe
im so silly
—————–
how do i know i can love u
i dont
i dont need to know anything
i just feel
i just know
i shed tears and i obsess
i feel it in me
i let the passion
wash over my sanity
there is nothing left of me
just feeling
and knowing
that i must have u
i must touch u
i must enwrap you in my arms
but more than must
i need
a need that feels
a need that desires
i feel i know i need
———————–
i dont want to write
i want to cry
i want
you
your beautiful
ur sunshine
ur my heart