Category: love

Listen.

Support me.

Believe in me.

Give me what I need.

Help me fly higher than I have imagined.

—-

Love yourself.

Believe in yourself.

Be all that you are meant to be.

Stay in your center, stay in the calm.

Know that I love you & I’m always with you.

This will be the first time I memorialize this aspect of my being. I have the ability to connect with someone on an unconscious level. It belies distance and any form of communication. Its nothing short of telepathy.

My newest connection is with Amy Senger.

There I was not a minute before this writing, tired, no exhuasted, riding the metro to Ballston. My eyes were closed on the verge of sleep when a random thought invades my being. It is not my thought, though. It doesn’t belong to me but I am thinking it. Next a raging emotion, also not mine, comes sweeping through my consciousness. I open my eyes. I look around in a daze.

Just what is this??

Having some experiences with this sort of connection I settle back in to my in-between consciousness. As I relax and let the feelings and thoughts wash over me, more and more come. I start to make sense out of them. I am able to separate my own thoughts and feelings from the invaders.

As I do an image of a person starts to form. It is the beautiful Amy Senger. It is her being deep in my consciousness. As it often happens many of these feelings are not directed at me, about me, or for me. They are just flowing through me and I experience them.

Occasionally, a few of them are about me. From their I have trained myself to respond. I have learned to send back feelings and thoughts through the same channel. It is a very strange thing.

Greek definition of telepathy means distant, ‘tele’, and to be affected by, patheia

I sometimes feel very weird about this. I don’t think I’m supposed to be aware of these connections. I think I’m supposed to experience them without knowing what this is. But I do know what they are. I have tested them. It is very real and very strange.

Now, I must go because Amy has just texted me to call her, strange…

It’s not really fair to call this a project, but that is what helps me understand the undertaking. It helps me bucket-it and stay sane as it happens.

The latest project of mine is Amy Senger. She is the woman I love. I have decided to give my love to her and dedicate all that I do to her.

I regularly tell her: “I am your servant”, “You are my queen”, “You are the woman of my dreams”.

In search of all this I am back in Washington DC….for her. My dog is at home, so is my car, and all my belongings. It is a strange time for me, having started a new business, uprooted my life, and then fallen in love (all within a few months).

Not really that strange, though, if you know me. Might actually be ‘par for the course’ if you know what I mean. Still, that doesn’t make this strangeness any easier for Amy.

Whether she knew it or not. Welcomed it, expected it, or feared it…the full onslaught of my personality is now upon her. My ex recently called it “aggressive” as she gave one of those grimaced looks off into the distance.

It really is a right of passage for getting to know me. I can’t help it. I can turn it off for those with a weak or potential tie to me, but watch out if ur a strong tie. Fights, late night talks, annoyances, challenges, debates, uncomfortableness. Yeah I’ve been told I cause all that and within the last month.

Now don’t get me wrong I also create beauty and love in the world. It’s just that one never remembers or thanks the good deeds because its the toughest ones that you remember. Trust me on this. I can go back and see the growth and love I helped create, never a thank you….

Back to Amy Senger. She is handling all this beautifully. Her outward beauty is only matched by her inner beauty and her agile, capable mind. She is constantly telling me about her revelations and problems. Getting upset about what I tell her and showing frustration with the constant pushiness (though that’s better than aggressive).

Through it all she is a philly and rising to the challenge.

I guess I’m writing about this because it is hard on me too. I don’t like to admit it but I feel her pain/struggle/frustration as well. I can see the end and the dream, but it still is just as hard for me. It distracts me from my obsession, A Clean Life, which is saying something.

It’s just that when I see something I want I jump on it. I never look back. I attain that dream and accept the new reality.

Amy is my new reality.

Love or something like it.

I cautiously enter the den…will i be mauled or warmed?

The next great adventure of my life is approaching…slowly ticking away like the destiny that approaches.