Steven J. Mandzik

Vote for Our SXSW Panels!

Hey Everyone – voting opened today for SXSW 2010 panels. The SXSW panel committee will use our votes to help determine what kind of conference SXSW ends up being.

So, please vote for my panels and my friends. All the words below are clickable

From me, Steven Mandzik:

Local Food: Creating an Online Community of Local Eaters

How a Zero Waste Lifestyle Can Save Your Life

From Friends

Dating 2.0: How Social Media Gets You Dates – by Amy Senger

Innovating Bureaucracy: Getting Government To ShareAndrea Baker

What Does Corporate America Think of Web 2.0? – by Andrew McAfee

Developer from Mars Takes on Designer from Venus – by Chris Bucchere

Technically Women – 4 panels by women

The Connection Is Made

This will be the first time I memorialize this aspect of my being. I have the ability to connect with someone on an unconscious level. It belies distance and any form of communication. Its nothing short of telepathy.

My newest connection is with Amy Senger.

There I was not a minute before this writing, tired, no exhuasted, riding the metro to Ballston. My eyes were closed on the verge of sleep when a random thought invades my being. It is not my thought, though. It doesn’t belong to me but I am thinking it. Next a raging emotion, also not mine, comes sweeping through my consciousness. I open my eyes. I look around in a daze.

Just what is this??

Having some experiences with this sort of connection I settle back in to my in-between consciousness. As I relax and let the feelings and thoughts wash over me, more and more come. I start to make sense out of them. I am able to separate my own thoughts and feelings from the invaders.

As I do an image of a person starts to form. It is the beautiful Amy Senger. It is her being deep in my consciousness. As it often happens many of these feelings are not directed at me, about me, or for me. They are just flowing through me and I experience them.

Occasionally, a few of them are about me. From their I have trained myself to respond. I have learned to send back feelings and thoughts through the same channel. It is a very strange thing.

Greek definition of telepathy means distant, ‘tele’, and to be affected by, patheia

I sometimes feel very weird about this. I don’t think I’m supposed to be aware of these connections. I think I’m supposed to experience them without knowing what this is. But I do know what they are. I have tested them. It is very real and very strange.

Now, I must go because Amy has just texted me to call her, strange…

Freeloading

I’m reminded of a story that I once heard as a sad tale. A boy decides that he wants to bake a cake for his mom. He saves his money for the cake mix and the other ingredients. Gets home only to realize that he forgot to buy eggs.

Rather, as an adult looking back at his own childhood he tells that he just didn’t know he needed eggs. So, he goes to his neighbor and asks for some eggs. She gladly gives them for his momma’s birthday.

Cake is delivered and everyone is happy. The mom is surprised and delighted. But, a few days later the mom scolds the child and grounds him after finding out that he had to ask the neighbor for eggs.

She was worried that the neighbors might think she couldn’t take care of, or feed her children.

Now the narrator finishes this off by not blaming his mom for such behavior. Instead saying that this is acceptable in our society and that it’s not making us any better or happier.

So, please think about this tale as you rush to judgement. Remember, that sometimes life is a bit more complicated than we would like to believe.

Velvet Goldmine (Todd Haynes, 1998)

“Velvet Goldmine” is a movie made up of beginnings, endings and fresh starts. There isn’t enough in between. It wants to be a movie in search of a truth, but it’s more like a movie in search of itself. Not everyone who leaves the theater will be able to pass a quiz on exactly what happens.

Set in the 1970s, it’s the story of the life, death and resurrection of a glam-rock idol named Brian Slade, played by Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and probably inspired by David Bowie. After headlining a brief but dazzling era of glitter rock, he fakes his own death onstage. When the hoax is revealed, his cocaine use increases, his sales plummet, and he disappears from view. A decade later, in the fraught year of 1984, a journalist named Arthur Stuart (Christian Bale) is assigned to find out what really happened to Brian Slade.

Do we care? Not much. Slade is not made into a convincing character in “Velvet Goldmine,” although his stage appearances are entertaining enough. But a better reason for our disinterest is that the film bogs down in the apparatus of the search for Slade. Clumsily borrowing moments from “Citizen Kane,” it has its journalist interview Slade’s ex-wife and business associates, and there is even a sequence of shots that specifically mirror “Kane”–the first interview with the mogul’s former wife, Susan.

“Citizen Kane” may just have been voted the greatest of all American films (which it is), but how many people watching “Velvet Goldmine” will appreciate a scene where a former Slade partner is seen in a wheelchair, just like Joseph Cotten? Many of them will still be puzzling out the opening of the film, which begins in Dublin with the birth of Oscar Wilde, who says at an early age, “I want to be a pop idol.” I guess this prologue is intended to establish a link between Wilde and the Bowie generation of crossdressing performance artists who teased audiences with their apparent bisexuality. Brian Slade, in the movie, is married to an American catwoman named Mandy (Toni Collette) but has an affair with a rising rock star named Curt Wild (Ewan McGregor), who looks like Kurt Cobain, is heedless like Oscar Wilde and is so original onstage that he upstages Slade, who complains, “I just wish it had been me. I wish I’d thought of it.” (His wife, as wise as all the wives of brilliant men, tells him, “You will.”) The film evokes snatches of the 1970s rock scene (and another of its opening moments evokes early shots from the Beatles’ “A Hard Day’s Night”). But it doesn’t settle for long enough on any one approach to become very interesting. It’s not a career film, or a rags-to-riches film, or an expose, or an attack, or a dirge, or a musical, but a little of all of those, chopped up and run through a confusing assortment of flashbacks and memories.

The lesson seems to be that Brian Slade was an ambitious, semi-talented poseur who cheated his audience once too often, and then fooled them again in a way only the movie and its inquiring reporter fully understand. In the wreckage of his first incarnation are left his wife, lovers, managers and fans. It is a little disconcerting that the last 20 minutes, if not more, consist of a series of scenes that all feel as if they could be the last scene in the movie: “Velvet Goldmine” keeps promising to quit, but doesn’t make good.

David Bowie (if Slade is indeed meant to be Bowie) deserves better than this. He was more talented and smarter than Slade, reinvented himself in full view, and in the long run can only be said to have triumphed (if being married to Iman, pioneering a multimedia art project and being the richest of all non-Beatle British rock stars is a triumph, and I submit that it is). Bowie is also more interesting than his fictional alter ego in “Velvet Goldmine,” and if glam rock was not great music, at least it inaugurated the era of concerts as theatrical spectacles and inspired its audiences to dress in something other than the hippie uniform.

Todd Haynes, the director and writer, is an American whose first two films (“Poison” and “Safe”) were tightly focused, spare and bleak. “Safe” starred Julianne Moore as a woman allergic to very nearly everything–or was she only allergic to herself? These films were perceptive character studies. In “Velvet Goldmine,” there is the sense that the film’s arms were spread too wide, gathered in all of the possible approaches to the material and couldn’t decide on just one.

ROGER EBERT / 6 November 1998

Paris – “Baguette magique”



Paris – "Baguette magique", originally uploaded by Kamomillo.

lol, how could u not love bread

International Student House – London



Indoor phone box, originally uploaded by KyroII.

first place i stayed in 2003, what a fuckin trip

Sherlocks



Sherlocks, originally uploaded by rhiaphotos.

london underground baker stop, in indelible memory locked in my mind. strangely gritty and nostalgic, my vision of london.

I want to be on the Underground



Going Underground, originally uploaded by sinister pictures.

and in a circus

Feminism

A political leader (from Greek “polis”) is an individual who is involved in influencing public decision making.

That’s me. I can’t help it. I was born this way. Believe me, too, I have hated it in myself.

Still it has influenced everything I’ve done in my life. Up to this point I have been very silent about this. Only those closest to me were aware. Now, I’m ready to turn it on. I’m starting here.

Starting with my first stance. I’m making a stand, rather obvious one, for womens rights. Women have acheived a lot already but the game is not over.

Passive Sexism

First thing that happens when u suppress a movement like sexism is that it goes underground. It becomes backroom chatter, silent understandings, and hidden oppression. It becomes veiled in other causes (separate but equal) and is harder to identify.

You can’t fool a politician though, that’s our game. I recognize it and I will tell you, you can count on that.

I pledge to fight passive sexism.

Public Image

Ever been in a school? If so you understand what kids look up to and what they mimick. They will be the first to repeat the curse word back to you and copy your worst qualities.

Same thing is true in US society and culture. We don’t understand the true reality of conference panel picking or managment meetings. We understand public image and what you say.

It really is a dual challenge of walking the walk and telling people you are walking the walk. Can’t just be fair and open minded (walk the walk) you also have to openly state your open mind.

Until you do that you sit next to all the sexists that women deal with on a daily basis.

This is not about playing politics or crafting an image. It is about clearly distancing yourself from the sexists.

Otherwise, you leave it up to us to form our own opinions.

The Theory of Mind

“Theory of mind is that thing that a two-year-old lacks, which makes her think that covering her eyes means you can’t see her”

Anil Dash, December 2007

The mind is a powerful force but it is also a secluded force. It is all by itself and can never really ‘touch’ another mind. That’s why empathy is so important in our world. It is something we inherently lack and need to work at.

When it comes to sexism it is just as bad as racism. One can never really understand how it feels to be oppressed until you are. Then you take it seriously. Then you understand how important it is to make a stand and do whatever you can to help.

That is the point of the theory of mind. Its very hard to understand and emphathize with another mind. What you can do is listen to those around you. Notice when they are telling you something. You may not understand it but it will always come accross with passion, hurt, emotions, or a claim that it’s the right thing to do.

That is what I am doing. I’m hearing and seeing all this in my life right now. I’m also hearing a lot of defensive arguements and laissez faireĀ attitudes.

As the leader that I think I am it is my duty to stand up and stake my claim. I believe I am seeing sexism. I believe that chips will always fall as luck wants, but a person can do the right thing in the meantime.

I want to see a better world, one without sexism. Please join with me and take this step.

My Biggest Project (so far)

It’s not really fair to call this a project, but that is what helps me understand the undertaking. It helps me bucket-it and stay sane as it happens.

The latest project of mine is Amy Senger. She is the woman I love. I have decided to give my love to her and dedicate all that I do to her.

I regularly tell her: “I am your servant”, “You are my queen”, “You are the woman of my dreams”.

In search of all this I am back in Washington DC….for her. My dog is at home, so is my car, and all my belongings. It is a strange time for me, having started a new business, uprooted my life, and then fallen in love (all within a few months).

Not really that strange, though, if you know me. Might actually be ‘par for the course’ if you know what I mean. Still, that doesn’t make this strangeness any easier for Amy.

Whether she knew it or not. Welcomed it, expected it, or feared it…the full onslaught of my personality is now upon her. My ex recently called it “aggressive” as she gave one of those grimaced looks off into the distance.

It really is a right of passage for getting to know me. I can’t help it. I can turn it off for those with a weak or potential tie to me, but watch out if ur a strong tie. Fights, late night talks, annoyances, challenges, debates, uncomfortableness. Yeah I’ve been told I cause all that and within the last month.

Now don’t get me wrong I also create beauty and love in the world. It’s just that one never remembers or thanks the good deeds because its the toughest ones that you remember. Trust me on this. I can go back and see the growth and love I helped create, never a thank you….

Back to Amy Senger. She is handling all this beautifully. Her outward beauty is only matched by her inner beauty and her agile, capable mind. She is constantly telling me about her revelations and problems. Getting upset about what I tell her and showing frustration with the constant pushiness (though that’s better than aggressive).

Through it all she is a philly and rising to the challenge.

I guess I’m writing about this because it is hard on me too. I don’t like to admit it but I feel her pain/struggle/frustration as well. I can see the end and the dream, but it still is just as hard for me. It distracts me from my obsession, A Clean Life, which is saying something.

It’s just that when I see something I want I jump on it. I never look back. I attain that dream and accept the new reality.

Amy is my new reality.